You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
