I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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