your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
