walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
