ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize