You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
