i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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