I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just cut my nipple shaving
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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