i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
