I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
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