Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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