So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
