No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
