FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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