Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Randomize