the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
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