I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize