Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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