i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
