I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
