I need to stop coming to work sober
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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