So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
