Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
