Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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