If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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