Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
