When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
