just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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