I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
