So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
