Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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