I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize