obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
