last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize