I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
