is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
