i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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