Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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