This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
