So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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