brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
