you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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