She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
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