somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
