and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
