In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
