she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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