Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
