I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My ATM looks so different sober.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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