Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
