Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Randomize
