Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Soap is not a condiment
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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