the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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