...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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