He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
