His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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