sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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