Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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