I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Actions speak louder than pants.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I could fuck to npr.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
