Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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