Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So many bounce houses so little time
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
