Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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