Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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