I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
